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This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.

This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.

This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.

This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.

This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.
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About Hai Shifu

Editor-in-Chief of Love Bang Universe Media Department.

5 Taobao Poser Fashion Trends For 2017

By | 2017-11-07T07:49:32+00:00 April 10th, 2017|Categories: Uncategorized|

lovebangrabbitposers

Alright it’s fashion week and I’m mad. A few weeks ago I saw this girl at Xintiandi Lawson wearing a Slayer T-shirt and I was like, “hey what’s your favorite Slayer album?” and she just said “what?” Girl couldn’t name a single Slayer song.
 
Nowadays, it’s so easy to get the latest “cool” look from Taobao. You don’t even need to go outside. But you DO need to do the homework and learn the history before you rock an outfit. Otherwise you’re just a poser, and that’s the worst. You don’t wanna be that girl – or that dude. Some folks just don’t get it though, and based on my research, these are the top five Taobao Poser Fashion Trends for Spring 2017.

 

1. The Metal / Darkness Posers

lovebangmetalposers

Two years ago they had a Hello Kitty phone case. Now they’re rocking a Metallica shirt and a Thrasher hat, but they’ve never listened to Ride The Lightning or seen Welcome To Hell. True, their outfit screams Cradle of Filth, but they mostly listen to K-Pop.

 

2. The Trap Sisters and Brothers

lovebangtrapposer

Bro, I can’t even talk to you because you got the cheap Taobao grill and you’re spitting all over everyone. Gross. Trap already got appropriated once in America, and now that bullshit is getting filtered over here. Postmodernism is lame sometimes. Anyway, the Trap Brother and Trap Sister are really easy to spot, especially when they’re “turning up.”  Trap Sisters in particular are really great at pushing past people on the dancefloor and not saying excuse me.

 

3. Wait, Is Vivian Like, Black Now?

daigou-poser3

Yes, this is the Vivian you met three years ago at that English corner, and now even her own mother can’t recognize her. Thanks, YouTube. Vivian now spends six hours contouring her face everyday. She also wears the same pair of Under Armour workout pants seven days a week, but going to the gym isn’t her thing. She sticks out her ass in every selfie but she doesn’t even have ass. Chicken feet are still her favorite food, but now she eats them secretly before putting her matte lipgloss on. “I wish to meet Ariana Grande and Michelle Phan!” is her bio line in her Instagram profile.

 

4. The Straight-Up Confused Posers

lovebangconfusedposers

Oh you got a smiley face shirt but you don’t know about acid house? See, once any fashion trend gets copied on Taobao, it’s already played out, but the Straight Up Confused Poser does not care. They just love to mix and match all kinds of shit that doesn’t belong together, like M&Ms in a burrito. They are the fashion equivalent of the BBQ shrimp pizza at Pizza Hut. The Straight-Up Confused Poser is like a poser of a poser – a meta-poser.

 

5. The DIY Plastic Surgery Queen

lovebangplasticsurgery

Coco wanted double eyelids but she was too cheap to pay for a real doctor.  She was never good in chemistry class but now her life is all about hyaluronan and botox.

Coco got problems, but Coco can’t stop.

Don’t be like Coco. Just love yourself, and do a little research before you start mixing and matching culture.

– Relationship Counselor Rabbit

P.S. No I really can’t help you get tickets for fashion week. But definitely follow our WeChat and our Instagram for more crucial content like this.

LoveBangFollowTheCats

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When Smartphones Kill: A Qingming Holiday Safety Special

By | 2017-11-07T07:49:32+00:00 April 3rd, 2017|Categories: LB Comix, Stories|Tags: , , |

1lovebanginterviewingwithyanwang

Hello folks and happy Tombsweeping Holiday! Have you ever wondered what you’ll be in YOUR next life? Well today we’ve got an exclusive interview with Yánwáng, a.k.a. The King of Hell, a.k.a. the dude on those 500rmb Hell Money notes that your favorite Āyí is burning right now. He’s the judge down there in Hades. When you die, he decides whether you’ll spend eternity digging for cans of dog food that you can’t even eat because your throat is swollen shut OR get reincarnated as a beautiful flower, or an astronaut, or even a turtle! He’s actually a really nice guy.

Anyway, I was planning to ask him about the newest tech and F&B trends down in hell – like hey, do they have vegan options in the staff cafeteria these days? Are they still playing EDM in the torture chambers? But Yanwang didn’t wanna discuss any of that. He’s all stressed out because folks keep dying in cell phone accidents and he’s overworked trying to sort out their souls for afterliving.

 

Yanwang The King of Hell and His Holiday Presentation on Smartphone Safety

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Hai Shifu: Hey Yanwang, thanks a lot for taking the time to help us fill a hole for topical holiday content.

Yanwang: Thanks for having me, and I’m sorry you caught me at such a bad time. You know, I used to love my job, but ever since the third or fourth wave of smartphones, our immigration department has just been a clusterfuck. Folks falling into manholes and getting eaten by rats… folks getting eaten by escalators… We’re backed up for like MONTHS, man.

And these souls – I don’t even know how to judge them anymore, and Netherworld OS9.3 can’t read their LifeFiles. (Hey Tony in software – hope you’re reading this – would it kill you to write a fucking patch, man?). It’s like they were already dead before they even died. They’re all stuck on this three-second cassette loop, just flickering the last three seconds before their death.

Let tell you about some of these souls I keep seeing down here.

 

1. The Ones Who Drove and Swiped GOODBYE

 

3lovebangphonedeathdrive

Yanwang: Ohhhhh! Vivian just liked your WeChat Moment. A dog just followed you on Instagram! BOOM! CRASH INTO A RIVER OF BLOOD. I see these cases all the time.

 

2. The Bathtub KOL

 

4lovebangbathtubkol

Yanwang: Silk The Shocker! …I just thought folks knew this was a bad idea? Especially when they got the 10rmb charger from the uncle at the sock shop.

 

3. The BBQ Face Brunch Special

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Yanwang: See, a lot of folks worry about the number four. That’s crazy. What they need to worry about is talking on the damn phone when it’s plugged in the wall.

 

4. The Rooftoppers

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Yanwang: Oh god. I can’t. “Chasing Rooftops.” Why. You think taking a selfie hanging off a building makes you look hard?? You know what’s harder? The ground.

Play it safe.

Love Bang Anti Shouji Shouji Club

I could go on and on about the girl who was Face-Timing on her Mobike and swerved in front of a tuna fish truck, or the dude that got lost on his GPS trying to find In N’ Out and wandered into ISIS territory, but my point is, we’re like, really backed up down here in the netherworld, so please just do us all a favor and don’t be a statistic. And remember – eat all your rice. You don’t wanna be a hungry ghost.

– Yanwang, a.k.a. Yama

 

***

 

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